It started off as every tinder horror story does – with a match. He was, admittedly, gorgeous and I was thrilled to see that he had messaged me. A single rose emoji, how sweet. We started messaging sporadically and I had already gone on a somewhat successful tinder date earlier in the week so I agreed to take on another. He mentioned he had hung out with friends he met at the hostile, “cool he’s been to Europe!” I thought and he was hesitant to explain but finally he admitted to being homeless for the past month or so. Shit. At this point, being a humanitarian and feeling bad that I had pushed for this disclosure I figured, YOLO and we agreed that he’d come over the next night and if things went well he could crash on my couch.
Things kind of went well at first, there was banter right off the bat and I figured maybe he’s not a secret murderer and really just in a tough spot. But he was also nothing. like. the. pictures. I had been catfished folks, by some excellent photoshopping and angles. He looked like my aunt’s ex-husband, which is nothing spectacular let alone remotely gorgeous. Then the conversation slowly started slipping into a topic I don’t care to talk about, high school. And not just high school in general, his high school. He named his entire football team (first and last names, grouping the players by position) and what they are currently doing. And it didn’t stop there. Everything mentioned he could somehow connect to an experience that was at least a decade old. Cool story, bro.
Then there were the unwanted advances. And maybe if I had been “feeling it” I would’ve been all for it but I wasn’t. I forced and faked it thinking maybe if I did it long enough I’d feel some sparks but I didn’t feel anything but regret. Why did I put myself in this situation? Why am I too much of a pussy to tell him that I’m uncomfortable AF and I’d like you to leave? But I was a good hostess and let him stay the night on the couch, sleeping with one eye open of course.
Well sometime in the middle of the night I am awoken to him straddling me and giving me a massage. I cut that shit out real fast and being half asleep and not up for a fight just said you can sleep next to me but do not touch me. He tried but I brushed him off every time. When now, I know I should have kicked him out right then and there. He walked me to work the next day and we said our goodbyes. I knew full well a carefully crafted “pass” text needed to be sent just to end any subsequent communication and three unanswered texts from me later he received the rejection text. There was a rebuttal but I was firm and he took it pretty well.
And that’s what ended tinder for me. I lasted a week and 2 days. Went on 2 dates. It wasn’t about that particular date but how, as uncomfortable as I was, I didn’t stick up for myself and put the kybosh on it in fear of the confrontation it might lead to. Plus, there’s a guy IRL that I like anyway.
Have any crazy tinder stories?? I would love to hear them!